The Filthy Martini

I got tha Hiphop-potamus

2010-02-15T23:34:00.000-10:00

How could I forget to post this? For my birthday my friend Larina made me a custom-made Mighty Mugg. My own little Jemaine Clement from Flight of the Conchords! She is so talented - actually painted him on a blank figurine, complete with sideburns, glasses, the brows, those sexy lips, down to the hair on his chest. sigh... A couple pics made it up on the FOTC official fan photo Flickr page!!

Fan and Feather Scarf

2010-02-15T23:11:00.000-10:00

This was a fun scarf to crochet, with a pretty wavy lace design. It was also a quick project, took me approximately a week, during my free time after work and on the weekend. I crocheted this scarf for a friend who got married in Vegas last October.

Like the last scarf, I worked with more of that eco-friendly recycled bottle yarn (Caron Simply Soft Eco Yarn, .6 bottles in each skein). But unlike last time, the color really was the actual color of the yarn, under sunlight and indoor lighting. Ha.

I am the murderer.

2009-10-07T13:15:00.005-10:00

Which Twilight Zone Episode Do You Belong In?

You belong in the Twilight Zone episode The Lonely, about a murderer who is exiled to another planet. His only company is a female robot, and he is heartbroken when he cannot take her with him back to earth. (From Quizilla)

2009-10-06T22:36:00.004-10:00

So... October 6th, 2009... sadly this blog has turned into a lowly annual contribution. :) But who cares? Currently, the author is the only person who drops by occasionally to read this blog. Ha.

I've been working on another knitted scarf, for a friend in AZ. It's turning out quite lovely - a fan and feather design, and only frogged once! must remember to add pics soon.

Here's some pics of another scarf I knitted for a friend, who went to MA for a biz trip. it was a fast and quick, ribbed knit.

I used Caron Simply Soft Eco yarn - .6 plastic bottles recycled per skein! :) Funny thing though, apparently, the color changes in natural lighting, i.e. the SUN! So my friend calls me from MA, and he asks me - what color did you use for my scarf? I say, gray, of course. He says, no, it's purple. no, actually it's more a lilac color! Hahahaha, yeah. I swore to him that I had no idea, it was not intentional... but funny as hell. hee.

shower

2008-06-16T23:56:00.003-10:00

i cried in the shower tonight. i cried hard. i think i the shower is the best place i've found so far to do this. i can allow myself to cry as hard as i feel. oddly, it's a good feeling to have my tears mix in with the water hitting my face, that i can' t tell my tears pouring from my eyes and the water pouring from the shower head. i also realized that maybe it feels good to cry in the shower because i'm cleaning my soul and washing away my sins, while cleaning my body. tonight, i was thinking about my dad.

since he passed away, i usually have a few images that run over and over again in my mind. one, is not even a real memory. i see him walking towards me near the elevators outside of my office at work. this image popped suddenly into my mind the first day i returned to work after he passed. i don't know why. he is walking to me, just as he looked when i saw him on my trip home last year in May. He couldn't walk very well then, but he walked with a kind grin on his face. his smile was always sincere.

another image I have is of him in bed at the hospital. he was in the hospital a week before he died. he laid there, looking stiff and uncomfortable. he often would open his eyes and stare out, he would begin to talk, but most of the time we thought he was actually still sleeping because he didn't make any sense with his words. we stood on the sides of his bed, massaging his legs. when i first saw my mom doing this, i was shocked and scared. i think i was scared because it seemed so affectionate, and i wasn't used to showing that much affection. but the way she rubbed his legs showed how much she actually cared for him, and all those years growing up hearing them fight, and fight, and fight - didn't seem so horrible anymore. i also saw how long she had to care for him by the way she massaged him. how long she cared for him all by herself. i was in portland and i didn't really know how much was going on. soon i was rubbing his legs - every chance i got. like i was trying to make up for not being there for him. i could rub away the pain and regret for my hiding away. i looked at his legs. i looked and took in all the old scars and the new scabs from his last fall, wondering if his condition made them not heal as fast as they would have if he were healthier. i tried to be as gentle as could as i ran my hand along his shins but hard enough to feel like i was in some way providing my dad some relief, visualizing peacefulness in every stroke.

then i thought about how that last time he was in the hospital was the hardest thing i ever experienced in my life. watching him, wondering if he even knew i was there. yet it was the most uncomfortable i've ever been in my life and i just wanted to leave. one night everyone had gone home, but me and my brother. i kept thinking, "when are going to leave?" it was past visiting hours, but no one said anything. we sat in silence and watched as my dad fell in and out of sleep. the only way we knew he was truly sleeping was when he stopped moaning. otherwise he moaned and made noises non-stop. he woke up and saw us there, and he said he was worried about us being there because it was late. i remember feeling relieved that he was telling us to go home. my brother wanted to stay all night, but i didn't and we went home.

i've always said that i never regret. i have never done anything that i've regretted. but i lied. i do regret. i regret that i didn't stay that night. why? why couldn't i stay that one night in my life to be with my dad? i would have had more time with him. how many times did he wake up to that empty dark cold hospital room? was he thirsty? did he wish he could move his legs? i wish i was there to hold his hand. i could have stayed but i was scared. i wanted to run away from that place. and i did. and i now i can never go back.

the other vision of my dad was one of the last times we had before he died. he came home from the hospital that day. the hospice nurse had setup him up at home in the bed that was delivered to the house earlier that day. by now, he was already on liquid morphine to make him as comfortable as possible. we took turns around his bed, massaging his legs and holding up his left arm which caused him a lot of pain because of the surgery he previously had to remove cancer. as i was holding his arm and hand up, he turned and looked at me, and said my name. he smiled and and i said "Hi Dad!" with a smile back. that was the first time since i came back from Portland that I felt he really saw me. In that moment, i felt his love. it was all i needed. i wanted that so much and through all his pain and he knew he was nearing death and he still managed to give. i will never forget.

He died a few hours later. Me, my brother, and great aunt had already come back to town and went to sleep. around 4:30 a.m. my mom called to tell us. she sounded calm. she asked if we wanted to come home to say goodbye before the people from the mortuary came to pick him up. we got ready and drove. it was a long silent drive. something very strange happened that night. seconds before my mom called, a sneeze woke me out of my sleep. i thought it was weird because that only happened to me maybe once before in my life. i like to think now that it was my dad reaching to me.

after i got out of the shower, i realized that father's day was six months to the day since my dad died. i don't know if six months means "wow, six months already?" or "it's only been six months?" for now, to me, it's just that an amount of time has passed and i'm still crying.

ma vie en rose

2006-03-18T09:46:00.000-10:00

i said goodbye to blue hawaii. that was in january, about a week after the new year arrived. i have since joined my love here in the city of roses. the great northwest. to anyone reading, please don't take my lack of exclamation points as a sign of my personal feelings about being in my new environment. i just have lazy fingers, as you can probably tell from the additional lack of uppercase letters. i actually almost forgot about my bl0g here and the one on myspace too. i seem to go back and forth (i'm driving around my original topic, but we'll get back on track in a minute here) between the coolness of the blog and my own not-so-cool paranoia. but like my big move away from home, my family, and my friends, i feel like today i will make an effort to step outside of my shell. and i think i've developed a pretty thick shell in these past few months adjusting to 30 degree weather and all. rain and slushy snow. but the sun has been out, and i never loved it more. when i was in hawaii, i remember days that i would actually curse the sun in my mind. i loved the rain. i still do, but what i realized being here is that i love the rain in hawaii.

for the most part, i'm happy to be here. but i also have days when i have to ask myself about the decision i've made and why? is my dad really okay with my choice to leave home? will he still be there when i come back? will I be 50 years old and full of regret... i feel like i've abandoned my family in a way. and i miss my friends. today is saturday and if i were back there right now i would probably be getting ready to meet the girls for lunch. i just hope that everything is right when they come to visit in july. more to come...

2005-07-22T13:05:00.000-10:00

You are Mohair. You are a warm and fuzzy type who works well with others, doing your share without being too weighty. You can be stubborn and absolutely refuse to change your position once it is set, but that's okay since you are good at covering up your mistakes.

What kind of yarn are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Dick Cheese and the Lounge Against the Machine!

2005-07-01T14:44:00.000-10:00

He's back to do another show at the Wave, this weekend. All the hits you love and hate, from the Weez, System of a Down to Britney Spears and Snoop Dogg. Personally, I hope he does Milkshake again...

I first saw them in Vega$ a few years ago. I was in heaven. We went to the tiki bar in the Venetian, then over to the lounge, i think it was called Venus lounge. They (I don't know if they still do) used to have several of Shag's artwork covering the wall in front, a huge mural, smaller pics inside, complete with Shag cocktail napkins and cocktail stirrers.

Richard Cheese and the Lounge Against the Machine took the stage and it was a total surprise for us because we weren't even there for the show. but there we were, and with no standing room only allowed, I felt pretty special to have gotten there early enough to make it in. I couldn't believe I was hearing Radiohead's Creep, with a swinging back beat and crooning vocals.

So I'm pretty excited that he decided to come back to Hawaii for another show at the Wave. let the dirty martinis flow!

The Jolene Bag

2005-06-29T18:28:00.000-10:00

When I started knitting, I was amazed at how many types of yarns and needles there are to work with. Then, to discover the world of knitsters! The Stitch n' Bitch groups and the knitting blogs... it just blows me away. So I realized that most knitters like to document their projects- and for good reason. It's so cool to use the Internet to be able to share with others. It occured to me I forgot to mention my first big knit project, which also happened to be a gift for my good friend, Jolene, hence the name, the Jolene Bag. I only have pics of the completed work, none of my progress during.

I got the bag pattern from Knitting Pretty, but figured she could use a little more space, so I doubled the amount of CO sts. I kept the garter sts at the top, but instead of the stripes as the pattern suggested, I tried my hand at intarsia and gave the bag a red heart in the corner. Funny thing is, I meant to knit the heart in the lower right-hand corner... oops. Then on the back I thought I'd mix it up a bit with the stripes. I don't know why, but the combination of the blood red heart and the punky stripes just scream "Jolene" to me. :) I'm only sorry I didn't get any pictures of her modeling the bag! The strap isn't supposed to look like that... I was running out of time (knitting in the car on the way to her party!), so I used one of my scarves. I'm not completely happy with it, but it matches the bag, so it isn't too disappointing.

So now that the Jolene Bag is done, I was thinking of designing and knitting a bag for each friend, but that might take me a very, very long time...

machinelove

2005-06-29T14:14:00.000-10:00

i love the metal click-click-click of the keys, the winding sound of the wheel, and the best of all, the Ding! of the bell, that tells me I'm at the end of my line. A few years ago I came across an electric typewriter, sitting on the wall by the trash cans in front of my apartment building. it still works, ribbon and all. it purrs a bit, and it gets all hot after only ten minutes of key fondling. it's a Smith-Corona Coronet, circa mid 1970s. Below is a pic of a similar one, not as nice, but still in very good condition.

So, last Thursday morning as i'm walking down my street, i spot a absolute beauty... a relic... it's an antique Royal Standard 10 (again, similar pic. i'll post the real ones later.)
No shit. It's just sitting in the dirt near the telephone pole, about 20 feet away from where I found the coronet a few years ago. I knew it was an antique, but I didn't know how far back it went until Dan told me. it's quite a special piece of machinery. black metal - very heavy. original keys, no "1" and "!". this typewriter dates back to 1914 - 1916! It makes me sad though... when i think of the reason why it was abandoned on the side of the road. I figured someone in the next building might have passed away. There were a lot of elderly folks living in that bldg. Well, at least this typewriter has gone on to a nice home.

camera obscura...

2005-06-21T16:36:00.000-10:00

ah sweet music. I feel like I'm 5 years old again, skipping through the trees on a cool summer's Sunday afternoon when I listen to Camera Obscura's early 2004 release, Underachievers Please Try Harder. Really. This album is my current soup du jour because it's what I have popped in my CD player that I take to work with me everyday. So, I listen to it on my busride home and as I walk to my apartment. And since the sun is setting later, I get to catch a glimpse of that sparkly afternoon sun through the leaves and my life is just absolutely perfect for those 2 minutes.

A few weeks ago I picked up Nouvelle Vague. It's neo bossa nova. It's songs from the 80's. It's bossa nova covers of 80's songs like: A Forrest, Melt With You, This is Not a Love Song, Love Will Tear Us Apart, Just Can't Get Enough, and some punk favorites. Female vocals. There's supposed to be like 3 different femme vocalists but I swear they all sound like the same 10 year old girl. I still don't know if I like it. The bossa nova beats of these covers get kinda old by the last song. but the cover art rocks.

I have a heel!

2005-06-21T16:12:00.000-10:00

My gray and black striped socks are almost done, well the one side anyway. I feel like such a snail compared to the other knitters I've seen. But, slow as I am, I'm glad that I've finally found my way around or through the turn heel of my first sock. I didn't give up, didn't give in. I knitted through 2 books and 2 magazines and finally put it all together until it made sense to me. I still don't know if I'm even going to do the matching side... I'm using basic acryllic Red Heart yarn... it's what I already had at home, and an ample amount of. My size 7 feet are gonna be hot in those socks. But, I figured that I would finish at least the one side for practice. We'll see about the other foot.

I think I'll start a cap next. I've read it's bad luck to knit a sweater for your boyfriend, I hope a cap brings him good luck!

yes yes yes, pics soon.

Do I really need socks?

2005-06-13T16:49:00.000-10:00

I've been working on these, well- just one of the pair so far, striped socks. It's black with heather gray stripes and I'm just using the typical acrylic Red Heart yarn. It's pretty much my first attempt at circular knitting, not counting a bag strap I made (after I gave away the bag... I'll explain later). I looked at what colors I had the most of, and of course, it was black and gray, two of my favorite colors. I'll try to post some pictures of my projects as I get more adjusted into this blog. So, please pardon me if you get confused with my silly little descriptions for now. So back to the socks. The funny thing is, I'm pretty sure I'm not going to wear these socks... it'll most likely be hot and itchy, not the kind of socks to wear in typical Hawaii weather. But, I wanted to try my hand at it... I just don't know if I am going to continue with these imparticular... I keep telling myself just practice turning the heel. We'll see what happens to those poor socks.

I did accomplish making my second (and very simple) kerchief. It's such a simple pattern- just keep increasing every other row- it took me about 3 hours to make the main section, and I made the little straps the next morning. Again, I apologize for not posting a picture, I'll get to it soon. I used a beautiful brown tweed yarn, Sirdar Donegal. I love it! I'm thinking of knitting with the same kind of yarn for a sweater or cardigan... when i feel more adventurous... heh.

Start with a little vermouth...

2005-06-10T12:32:00.001-10:00

The entry to start all entries... so slip into your favorite cocktail and read on. I came by here on a suggestion from a fellow knitster, whom I just met last evening, along with the other swell dolls of the Honolulu Stitch n' Bitch group. I had such a great time knitting and chatting... thank you all (if you are reading this)! Can't wait for next week. It's been a while since I last participated in a group activity and met some new folks, and now I'm so happy I did.

Well, I figure I would just post some questions from one of those getting-to-know-you surveys... feel free to copy and repost it in my comments so I can meet you too!

1. Of all the bands/artists in your cd/record collection, which one do you own the most albums by?
It's probably a tie btwn: Lush and Cocteau Twins... but then I do own all of That Dog.'s albums... for which they only put out 2.
2. What was the last song you listened to (voluntarily)?
Teenager - Camera Obscura
3. What's in your CD player right now?
Camera Obscura - Underachievers Please Try Harder
4. What song would you say sums you up [attach lyrics to bottom]?
You Make It Easy [Air]
Never been here - How about you?
You smile at my answer
You've given me the chance
To be held and understood
You leave me laughing without crying
There's no use denying
For many times I've tried
Love has never felt as good
Be it downtown or way up in the air
When your heart's pounding
You know that I'm aware
You make it easy to watch the world with love
You make it easy to let the past be done
You make it easy
How'd you do it?
How'd you find me?
How did I find you?
How can this be true?
To be held and understood
Keep it coming - no one's running
The lesson I'm learning
'Cause blessings are deserved
By the trust that always could
Be it downtown or way up in the air
When your heart's pounding
You know that I'm aware
You make it easy to watch the world with love
You make it easy to let the past be done
You make it easy
You make it easy to watch the world with love
You make it easy to let the past be done
You make it easy
5.What's your favourite local band?
Linus the Band and Port Guyana
6. What was the last show you attended?
Diana Krall under the stars
7.What was the greatest show you've ever been to?
Both Lush and Cocteau Twins were surreal and fantastic. I think Lush holds me for me because I got to meet with them and share a beer with Chris (rest in peace).
8. What band do you love musically but hate the members of?
I would say Oasis, but I don't even like them musically.
9. What's the most musically involved you have been?
DJ
10. What shows are you looking forward to?
Bjork, Portishead, Stereolab, Pixies, Weezer (again), Rasputina, Sing-sing, Esthero.
11.What is your favourite band t-shirt?
My Bloody Valentine
12. What musician would you like to hang out with for a day?
Weezer or Combustible Edison
13. Name 3 flawless albums:
Doolittle - Pixies
Loveless - My Bloody Valentine
I, Swinger - Combustible Edison
14. What is your favourite movie soundtrack?
Lost In Translation or Breakfast at Tiffany's
15. Who is your favorite musician and why?
Currently it's Elvis Costello. He is a genius, plain and simple.